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Kingdom Ordered Relationships |
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Written by Pastor Darrell Cooper
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Friday, 06 March 2009 09:34 |
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Romans 12:9-21
August 31, 2008 - Lindsborg Cov.
Kingdom-Ordered Relationships
(Relationships)
Sermon
Have you ever been hurt? Has someone ever hurt you deeply? That is a bit of a rhetorical question, isn’t it? We have all been hurt at some point, haven’t we? So, I would like you to think back to a time when someone really hurt you. Perhaps they lied to you or about you. Perhaps they stole something important from you. Think back to how you felt at that time. How did you respond to that person? How did you respond to the situation?
And how are we supposed to respond to situations like that, when people hurt us, perhaps intentionally? I would like to begin by offering what I might call conventional wisdom. This is the kind of advice you might hear from your friends in the world.
For example, what do you do if someone cheats you in a business deal? Well, many people would encourage you to take every opportunity to give a bad report about their business to everyone you meet. If you are really serious about it you might file a lawsuit. That will teach them a lesson. Just sue ‘em! Perhaps you will have an opportunity to cheat them back or, if you are really lucky, you might even be able to run them out of business altogether. That’ll show ‘em! They messed with the wrong person.
Or, what if your boss is a jerk? What if she is just totally unreasonable? What if he is cruel and vindictive? What then? Well, you should at least gossip about them behind their back. Talk bad about them to the other employees around the water cooler. You should slough off at work. Give your boss a bare minimum of job performance. Work only hard enough to maintain your employment. Or, if you get really tired of it, just quit your job. You don’t have to put up with that!
What do you do if someone cuts you off on the highway? OK, now we are getting serious! This is when the road rage kicks in. If someone cuts them off, do your best to cut them off too. If you can’t do that, at least extend an obscene gesture or two in their direction. They don’t own the road. You gotta teach them a lesson!
What do you do when a co-worker or a classmate spreads false rumors about you, is mean to you, and even tries to get you fired or kicked out of school? Well, you should at least complain to your boss or the principle. Do your best to make that person look bad. Look for opportunities to publicly humiliate them. If you get a chance, do your best to get them fired or kicked out of school. Show them how it feels.
You have to stand up for yourself. You can t let people just walk all over you. If you do,
they will see you as weak and will take advantage of you and abuse you. You have to be assertive, even aggressive. You have to look out for number one. Fight fire with fire. That is the only language some people understand.
Again, this is the kind of advice you might hear from your friends in the world. I call this conventional wisdom. But you probably already know that this is not God’s wisdom. This is not the kind of advice we read in God’s Word.
This brings us to our passage today. If you are not already there, you might like to turn to Romans 12:9-21. If you were here last week, you might remember that Pastor Jeff spoke about the first eight verses in this chapter. He focused mostly on spiritual gifts. In that section Paul was giving instructions to individuals about how and why to use their personal, individual gifts. In verse nine he turns a corner and broadens the scope to giving instructions that apply to everyone.
If you will remember, Jesus said that one of the most important commandments, second only to loving God, is to love people. Jesus summarized all the law and the prophets by telling us to love God and love people. But what does it mean to love people? That can be a bit nebulous. It is kind of a vague concept. We could understand and apply it in all kinds of ways.
So, in this passage, Paul dismisses all the vague generalities by showing us exactly what it looks like to love our neighbor as ourself. He begins in verse nine. He says, Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” That phrase could even be translated, Love that is sincere will be . . . What follows, then, is a description of what sincere love looks like.
So let me outline this passage for us very quickly. Verse nine indicated that this passage is describing sincere love. In verses 10-13 Paul talks about how we are to love fellow believers, those inside the Church. In verses 14-21 he gives us instructions on how we are to relate to unbelievers, those outside the Church.
I don’t want to spend very much time on the first section today. In verses 10-13 he gives us a quick list of about ten different commands for loving fellow believers. He tells us to do things like be devoted, joyful, patient, faithful, generous, and hospitable. This is what is looks like to love one another inside the Church.
Now, in verses 14-21 he shows us how to orders our relationships with unbelievers, particularly people who hate us. Perhaps they dislike us precisely because we are followers of Jesus. How are we supposed to relate to people like that?
One of the things I really love about the Bible is that it is so real. It just tells the truth straight up. And in this passage too Paul is very realistic. He recognizes that there will sometimes be conflicts with other people that we simply cannot resolve because the other party is unwilling.
One of the most heartbreaking kinds of counseling sessions I ever do is when a man or woman sits in my office openly weeping because their marriage is falling apart. They are perhaps on the verge of getting divorce. He or she really wants to patch things up, to work things out somehow. They have pleaded with their spouse to go with them to counseling, but he or she refuses. He has had enough. She is ready to give up and walk away. It is a painful thing to have to look into their eyes and say, “Then there is no hope. We can certainly pray that God will change their heart, but as long as your partner is not willing to reconcile, reconciliation is impossible.” We simply cannot force other people to think, feel, or act a certain way. We can work really hard at it, but if the other person is unwilling, relationship becomes impossible.
Paul recognizes this in verse 18. He says, If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” We should do everything within our power to have peace in all of our relationships, but our power only extends so far. It simply does not all depend on us. Every relationship is a two-way street.
So what are we supposed to do in those situations? What do we do if we have tried really hard to make peace, we have done everything within our power, and still the other party refuses to reconcile and remains our enemy? Then what?
Well, Paul gives us two instructions for what to do in that kind of situation. The first command is negative and the second is positive.
The first command we find in verses 17 and 19. Paul says do not curse your enemy or take revenge on your enemies. This means do not repay evil for evil. We are not to take revenge at all.
Well, why not? Isn’t that the most natural thing to do? This is just how things work in the real world. Tit for tat. You hurt me and I hurt you right back. You attack me and I am taking you down, pal. If you are anything like me, that is your natural response to being wronged. If someone hurts me, especially intentionally, my gut reaction is to get even.
But Paul says, “Don’t do that. Do not seek revenge.” Well, why not? He gives us two good reasons why not.
The first reason might surprise you. It surprised me. The first reason we are not to try to avenge ourselves is because we will get in God s way. Verse 19 says, Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. I think it is almost shocking to read these words. Paul seems to be saying, “If someone hurts you in some way, rest assured that God saw that. He doesn’t miss much. And now He wants to step into your life as your advocate. He is already setting into motion plans to take revenge on that person on your behalf. He will personally avenge you, unless you try to do it yourself. If you take matters into your own hands you will get in His way. If you get involved in the fight you will block His access to your enemy and will not be able to take revenge on them.” It seems that God is saying that He will personally avenge us unless we avenge ourselves.
The second reason Paul tells us not to take revenge on our enemies is because if we do we will be conquered by evil. Listen to what He says in verse 21: Do no be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. We seem to have the idea sometimes that if someone sins against us we can set things right by sinning against them. But Paul is saying that we do not erase the original evil by seeking revenge. We only add to it.
Let me tell you a quick story to illustrate the point. I got this from Martin Luther King Jr. He tells the story of how he and his brother A. D. were driving one night from Atlanta, GA to Chattanooga, TN. His brother was driving at the time, and he had his headlights on. There was a lot of traffic on the road that night and for some reason many of the passing vehicles were being quite rude in the sense that they were not dimming their lights as they passed by. At first this was distracting and mildly irritating, but when it kept happening his brother became more and more offended. Finally, he turned to Martin Luther King and said, “I know what I am going to do. The next car that refuses to dim his lights, I am going to flash my brights right into his face. That will show him how it feels!
Martin Luther King responded, and I quote, “Oh no, don t do that. There d be too much light on this highway, and it will end up in mutual destruction for all. Somebody got to have some sense on this highway." Martin Luther King Jr. understood that if the other vehicle blinded them with their headlights, the last thing they wanted to do was blind the other driver back. Then there would be two blind drivers hurtling towards each other at high speeds. That is a recipe for disaster.
Returning evil for evil does not conquer the original evil. It just adds to the evil and everyone ends up hurt, damaged, or destroyed. Mahatma Gandhi was famous for saying, An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Paul is saying that if we respond to evil in kind, then we have been conquered by evil. The only way not to be overcome by evil is to overcome it, and we overcome evil by doing good. We must come in the opposite spirit. I will say more about that in a moment.
So, there are two reasons we should not seek revenge on our enemies. We will mess up what God wants to do in the life of our enemy, and we will mess up what God wants to do in our own life as well.
That is the negative command. The positive command we find in verse 14. Here, Paul says, Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Paul added that second part because he knows all about human nature. He says, “do not curse your enemy, but rather bless them.”
Now, it would be bad enough if all we were called to do is refrain from seeking revenge on our enemies, but we are actually called to go one giant step further and seek to bless them. We are to return good for evil and seek ways to bless the one who cursed us, specifically in the area of meeting their practical and physical needs.
In verse 20 Paul says that instead of taking revenge on our enemies, we are to love them by meeting their physical needs. If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If your enemy is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Now, you should know that Paul is not making this up. He is actually drawing this from Proverbs 25:21-22. It is almost a direct quote. What is also interesting in the proverb is that it adds a blessing to the command. It says that if we treat our enemy in this way God will personally reward us.
So, Paul is saying that if we have an enemy who refuses to make peace with us, then we should watch their lives very carefully to see what practical needs they might have. Then, if we observe a need we should try to meet it. In doing this we will heap burning coals on the head of our enemy.
What does that mean, anyway? It is a rather strange image, isn’t it? What does it mean to heap burning coals on someone’s head?
Well, I am sure you have probably heard it explained in this way: If I sin against you in some way, and you do not retaliate but instead return good to me for my evil, that will probably make me feel really guilty about the way I treated you and I may “burn with shame”. This is by far the most common interpretation of this metaphor, that it is a way to try to convict our enemy of their sin.
Now, I have to admit that this is a possible interpretation, and a valid one, but I am not sure it is the best one. Personally, I don’t think it fits very well into the overall thrust of Paul’s teaching here. Paul’s whole point is that we are to love our enemies, to bless those who curse us and do good to those who hate us. I am not sure that fits very well with the interpretation that if someone treats me badly I am going to be really nice to the creep and make him feel really rotten about himself. This seems more like a subtle form of revenge than like the kind of love Paul is advocating.
I would like to suggest a different interpretation drawn from the culture of the day. In ancient
Hebrew culture it was very important that you keep the fire in your home burning at all times. The fire was your primary source of heat at night and the way you would prepare meals for your family. If, for some reason, your fire did go out, you couldn’t just light a match or flick a Bic. Most likely you would have to go out and find another source of fire and carry it back to your home.
It was also the custom of that culture to transport almost everything on one’s head. You have probably seen this in documentaries or in National Geographic. This is still a practice in some cultures today. So, it would not have been terribly unusual to see someone walking to or from the village carrying a container of live coals on his or her head. If it was a particularly long journey there was a chance that the coals would grow cold and die. So, if you wanted to show kindness to them you might scoop some coals out of your own fire and pour them into their container and in so doing you would literally be heaping burning coals on their head. This would be an act of pure grace and generosity.
Is it possible that Paul, in quoting the Proverbs, was making a reference to this cultural custom and essentially saying, If someone hurts you, watch carefully for a time when they are in need and then meet that need. ? This, I think, fits better with the overall point that we are to love our enemies and leave all the vengeance to God.
One of the things which strikes me in this passage is how similar it is to so much of what Jesus said. In fact, Paul’s writing here is no doubt based in part on the Sermon on the Mount and other parts of the gospels.
For example, Jesus said that we are to forgive others without limit, (Matthew 18:21-22) seventy times seven. In Matthew 5:44 He said that we are to pray for those who persecute us. In Luke 6:29 he said that if someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other one as well. In that same chapter, he said that if someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. (Luke 6:29) If someone steals your coat, let him have your shirt as well. Again, in that same chapter, Jesus said that we are to bless those who curse us. (Luke 6:28)
Now, to many people, Jesus commands seem crazy. Not seeking vengeance is counter-
intuitive enough, but blessing those who curse us seems irresponsible, maybe even insane. It
would be nice to be able to dismiss Jesus teaching as the musings of a young, idealistic
Rabbi who was hopelessly naïve and ignorant about how the real world works. It would
be easy to ignore Jesus altogether if it were not for one thing: He actually did these things. He practiced what He preached.
Again, in Matthew chapter 18 Jesus told us to forgive other people no matter what they do to us. In Luke 23:34 we see Jesus doing just that. He extended forgiveness to the people who were murdering Him.
In Matthew 5:44 Jesus told us to pray for those who persecute us. This is precisely what Jesus did on that Good Friday as He prayed from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for the do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) He actually prayed for his executioners as they were in the act of putting Him to death!
In Luke 6:29 Jesus said that if someone strikes us on one cheek we are to offer them the other
as well. If you have seen the movie The Passion or read the end of the gospels, you know that Jesus was mercilessly beaten, even tortured. Yet He did not resist nor retaliate. He did not resist an evil person. (Matthew 26:67)
Jesus said that if someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. (Luke 6:29) Jesus did this on the cross when he allowed the Roman soldiers to divide up all his clothes among themselves. When they finally came down to his last undergarment, His tunic, they didn’t want to tear it, so they cast lots to see who would get to keep the seemless garment, probably leaving Jesus naked on the cross, publicly exposed to deep humiliation on top of His pain. Jesus could have stopped them. He made it clear that He could easily have put an end to the whole ordeal with a single command. But He chose not to do that. He allowed Himself to be robbed of His last earthly possessions. (John 19:23-24)
In Luke 6:28, Jesus said that we are to bless those who curse us. If you have read the account of Jesus’ arrest in the garden on Thursday night, you know that Jesus did exactly that. John tells us that among the soldiers who came to arrest Jesus was a servant named Malchus. Trying to defend Jesus, Peter drew a sword and sliced off Malchus’ ear. Jesus performed His very last miracle to heal Malchus. He simply picked reached out and touched the side of his head, restoring his ear perfectly. (Luke 22:51) Malchus had come to see Jesus arrested and ultimately killed. (John 18:10) But Jesus used His last miracle to bless those who cursed Him.
So, I think we cannot very well argue that Jesus didn t really mean what He said. We cannot dismiss His teaching as metaphorical or merely figurative language because Jesus’ deeds lined up with His teaching. Jesus practiced what He preached and then commanded us to follow Him, to live the same way He lived and to love the same way He loved.
Some people might object to this kind of approach to our enemies. They might say, But if we do that people will take advantage of us, steal our possessions and abuse us. Living that way
doesn t make any sense!
I could say various things about that, but let this suffice for now: Jesus did not ask us to do what makes sense. He asks us to do what He says. The criteria for our response is not Is it prudent? , but, Is it obedient? The test is not, Does it work? , but, Is it faithful? Our job is not to micromanage the outcome. God is in charge of that. It is not our responsibility nor is it within our ability to control or manipulate others attitudes or actions towards us. Paul has already established that. (v. 18) Our job is simply to obey Jesus and faithfully follow His very consistent example.
So, I want to leave you today with a very simple question. Do you have any enemies? Who is your enemy? Do you know anyone who does not like you? Has someone hurt you deeply? Are there people who are opposed to you theologically or philosophically?
We could be quick to point to international enemies of the United States, such as Afghanistan or Iraq. We could identify terrorist groups like Al Queida or other Muslim extremists. Are they your enemy? If so, are you praying for them? Are you asking God to bless them and show them the life and love of Jesus? And are you seeking to bless them yourself, perhaps by supporting a missionary who works among the Muslim people?
Or we could bring it a little closer to home. Tis the season for politics. Is Barak Obama your enemy? Is John McCain your enemy? How about Hillary Clinton? Do you feel like any of these people is your enemy? If so, are you praying for them? Are you asking God to fill them with joy and peace and wisdom and to protect them and their families from harm since they are so high profile? And are you trying to bless them yourself, perhaps even by speaking well of them to others when you can?
Let’s bring it all the way home. What if your boss is a jerk? What if she treats you unfairly? What if he is capricious, even malicious? Is your boss your enemy, perhaps a co-worker or
classmate? Is your next-door neighbor your enemy, or maybe someone sitting in this very room? Maybe even someone sitting right beside you? Is your husband or wife your enemy? Is it your father, your daughter, your mother, your son? Maybe it feels like a close member of your own family has turned on you and become your enemy. Are you praying for them? Are you asking God to fill them with His Spirit, give them the desires of their hearts, make them successful in their vocation, bless all their relationships? And are you blessing them? Are you actively watching for practical ways to meet their physical needs? Do you have some extra coals you could add to their pile so their fire does not go out?
Who is your enemy, and are you blessing them?
I leave you with the words of Paul:
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse . . . Do not repay anyone evil for evil . . . If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
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Last Updated on Friday, 06 March 2009 10:19 |
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